the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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