official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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