im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
