Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
