I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
