if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
