Just cropdusted the office
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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