very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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