we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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