you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
