i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
