So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize