well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
