Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
