everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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