Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
