you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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