I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's blow job season.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
