What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
