Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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