i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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