I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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