its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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