First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize