forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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