Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
