do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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