she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
