So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
