I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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