In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
