Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everyone says I win the strip club
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
