do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
