i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
