Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize