I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish my penis had a tongue
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize