how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
