Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just gargled with NyQuil
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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