I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the condom got lost in my hair
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
