Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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