Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
