Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
