How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
