??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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