dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
