i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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