If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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