Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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