im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
