I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize