So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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