And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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