He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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