the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
