By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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