Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
