Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
