i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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