My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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