I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
