I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You need a sexual gate keeper
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize