giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
last night I used snow as a chaser
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize