I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
