Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
