4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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